#119

I have been so bad with this blogging everyday goal that I have set for myself for this year. I think I am just going to give up blogging everyday but blog occasionally when there are fun things that happening in my life. I finally had some time to spare today to do my own stuff other than the routine lifestyle I lead, waking up studying, studying and more studying. Especially with exams 3-4 days away, I do not want to think so much about anything.

I don't remember when all these pictures are taken. So I am just posting all the unposted pictures in my camera.

Basically I am going through a drastic change in my family and my life. I recently lose someone who is kinda close to me in a kind of a dramatic way. I have never imagined something so dramatic would ever happen, neither have I ever imagined that I would lose someone that close to me. I can't wait for 2012 to be over, this year has been a really bad year.

Throughout this whole experience, I just realized that life is about so much more thing other than being so sad and pessimistic and negative about life. Nothing is more important than your own mental and physical health. Especially mental health, you have to learn how to cope with your expectations and stress and you must know when you expect something, something may not come to you. And if one day you ever feel that no one love and care about you, you are wrong. Your parents, your family definitely love and will always be there for you even though they don't show. Don't give up your life because of your own perception of nobody loving you, its wrong.

No matter what, life goes on.

I used to have really high expectations of myself for this upcoming exam. I strive to get first class honours and I have the mentality that if I don't get this, I am a failure. But now, whether it's a first class, a second upper or maybe a just pass, it doesn't matter THAT much any more. All I want is everybody beside me to happy and healthy and that I am happy and that's all that really matters.

Life's too short to be so focused on one task, one thing, one event or one person. Life's about so much more and there are many things you have yet to discover. So give up being negative and sad, start being happy and live your life. There should be no pressure, no stress, no nothing that should get you down cause there's no time for you to mourn or be sad or be pressurized. Start spending time doing things that you want and you should do. Don't wait till there's no time left then you feel that you have regrets because eg, you haven't spend enough time with another person./ Tell the person you loved them etc.



May you now be in a better place, living a better life, being a happier person. I'm sorry for not spending enough time with you and not giving you enough attention to let you feel loved. This is my only regret in life now but it's okay, you are happier now. 

#108

Outfit from Monday and I know I am pretty late on this but I have been extremely busy for this past week to think that today is only Wednesday. Have been running around, going to many places in a day and I have to study doubly hard for my exams which is coming really soon. This is stressful but it's not that hard for me, YET.

This week is a pretty bad week. Bad stuff happening and I somehow got affected by this invisible bad negative energy that's around me and I feel kinda down. Sometimes I just feel like staying in my room, not feeling the thing to reply messages when people talk to me, all I feel like doing is to study.

I don't know. Maybe this is the way for me to feel better. Well, I definitely feel better yesterday when I finally officially stepped out of my house and start talking to people. Haha.

Ah, need to go have lunch and start studying again. I woke up at 7am today to start my day. And because of this, I am seriously considering not to work this long holiday. :/

#106

I don't come from a super wealthy family neither do I have a super fabulous life with no worries and tons of money to spends, big groups of friends to go out. I have my own problems which is pretty minor when you compare to people who are starving out there, but these problems do bother me quite a bit when I am feeling down during those few days of my life.

I have been through/ experience a few things in life which is pretty major to me, things which made me feel like dying but I never really ever once have the thought of really going to commit suicide.

I don't know how people ever have the courage to say, "Okay, life has been pretty depressing so I have decided that I should end my life, shall go commit suicide now." Of course is not as comical as that but you know, along that line. HOW DO PEOPLE EVEN DO IT? How do people even have the heart to leave everything behind, your family, your trouble, your worries for people who are still living in this world and just go like that.

No matter how much trouble you have think you may have brought to your parents, your family, you are still a living person where in this world, there are people who is willing to love you and do whatever shit for you.

I get so mad that people choose not to cherish their life.

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Whatever it may be, get well soon.

#104

Ikea for tea break today plus to get some stuff for my room. Oh well, I love furniture shoppung. Didn't get any work done today plus halfway through my work out just now, I felt the irritating and extremely pain headache that has been haunting me on Monday. The feeling is so terrible that I can puke.

Exams are seriously round the corner, I am at a point that I kinda feel prepared but not prepared enough feeling. This ain't a good feeling and I'm starting to feel stress by it.

Need to go shower now and maybe head to bed because my head is starting to kill me. Happy Black Friday though! :D

#102

My before look before all the MAGIC happens. JJ is one of the most awesome make up artist that ever exist in this world and he created the look that suit my face shape, personality and character etc. I really like it and even had a fun and enjoyable with him doing my make up. Seriously people, one of the best look that I ever wore on my face and even my friends said it's even better than my everyday make up look.

HAHAH!

Decided to do the someone do your makeup tag video and I'm glad I did it because if I didn't, I wouldn't have realize what a talent he is. And I filmed it so the video is below and there are clearer pictures to the look down belowwww.

And then the after look...

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Apparently the flash is overpowering so you can't really see the colors and all that and so I took a picture with my lousy iphone camera which turns out pretty good. Anyway stayed till the end of the video cause even JJ burst out laughing himself. Heheh.

#100

I have been really inspired by the hunger games to blog on this somehow related topic about life but I have been holding it back for seriously, I have no idea what. Basically the hunger games is about fighting for your own life, to the extend that you have to kill people to survive. To me, it's somehow related to our life because technically we are constantly, everyday, fighting to survive just that it's not that obvious that we are actually doing that.

We study, we learn, we work, we socialize, we do all we can to stay alive on this planet. We fight against sadness for happiness in our life, we fight to stay happy. We might not be in the extreme end that we are killing to fight for survival but we are always fighting between choices, conditions, emotions to be who we are today.

I wish one day I could stop fighting to be better, to be even stronger for a wrong reason. I hope one day I fight not because I want fame, I want more money, I wont more popularity in life. I hope one day I fight with the right motivation in life. I hope one day, instead of just purely fighting, I learn to be contented with what I have.

I hope one day, everyone will learn to be more contented in life, so there will be no war, no disagreement, no people will die. I hope one day people will finally fight and defeat all evil thoughts they have and be contented with life. When people are truly contented with the sufficient material goods, with the sufficient power, money they have, they will learn to help, to share, to give love to people who need it.

This place will truly be a better place to live in when people fight against all odd with only the right motivation, objectives in life.

May the odds be ever in your favour. Good luck.

#99

I went Malaysia yesterday for lunch. Dined at the same shabu shabu place and that's the only reason why we risk all the traffic and all to go to Malaysia for lunch. Finally got to eat some of their meat since the previous time I was on vegetarian diet.

I was supposed to blog this yesterday but I came home too late because after Malaysia I had to meet up a few of JJ's friend to celebrate another of his friend's birthday. Oh caught Hunger games for the second time and it still good! :D

Anyway today I had a really long day with tons of things to do. Need to study again after I shower. Just finish skyping with my friend, so jealous that she's on term break now. I want my holidays too! :( I really hate all these revision thingy but whatever, I should go attend with an open mind. Thank god there's no school tomorrow! :)